Clarita Canaday Pinckney

Clarita Canaday Pinckney died peacefully in her sleep Saturday, August 23. She was 98.

Born as Stella Clarita Canaday December 14, 1926 in Charleston SC, “Shady” graduated from Limestone College with a degree in piano. Her senior recital included Tcherepnin’s Bagatelle No. 1, a piece she continued to play and enjoy well into her nineties. Shady’s remarkable sight-reading skills were evident even to her childhood piano teacher, who often wondered if she had actually practiced. These abilities made her an outstanding choir accompanist, with one director noting she never, ever missed a beat. She played piano for church services, retirement homes, and in the family home for many years.

Shady married Thomas C. Pinckney, Jr, in Charleston on June 24, 1950. By God’s grace they had an extraordinary marriage over the next 71 years, with their tenderness toward each other only growing over time. They read hundreds of books together aloud, competed fiercely in ping-pong, and played backgammon almost daily. Shady regularly rolled doubles for come-from-behind wins. Never much interested in exercise, she nevertheless was a huge support for TC as he completed numerous long hikes both solo and with grandchildren. She even hiked the northernmost section of the Pacific Crest Trail with him.  In later years prior to TC’s death in 2021, most afternoons they would nap on the couch next to each other, holding hands. During TC’s thirteen-month tour in Vietnam (1968-69), they wrote almost daily letters, consisting not only of the minutiae of managing a household while thousands of miles apart, but also communicating love, devotion, and passion.

Inspired by her mother’s example, Shady was determined to give birth to her children naturally, without medication (a rare choice in 1950s America). Military hospitals being unreceptive, she located doctors who would honor her wishes, though they were often skeptical she would go through with it. She did – and enjoyed recounting the details of each labor annually as part of birthday celebrations.

Shady especially displayed her wisdom, grit, and servant heart during TC’s time in Vietnam: shepherding not-always-cooperative children, attending every performance and track meet, teaching Sunday School, handling finances, and cooking meals (she marveled that so many military wives didn’t cook while their husbands were away).

As her children married, Shady welcomed their spouses into the family, even transforming herself into a football fan to develop a closer relationship with her first son-in-law. Eventually she became a passionate Redskins fan, cheering enthusiastically for RG3 and hosting “Souper Bowl” parties in her jam-packed house.

In 1983 with a granddaughter’s birth in Kenya, Shady became a loving Grammie, eventually to twelve grandchildren and fifteen great grandchildren. Grammie displayed her delight in those grandchildren early on – after navigating immigration at the Nairobi airport in 1984, Grammie took five-month-old Erin out of Coty’s arms, not even looking at him (though she had not seen him for over a year). When he joked, “I’ve been replaced in my mother’s heart!” she replied, “Oh, Coty, I love you too!”

She and TC showed exceptional hospitality not only to those beloved descendants, but also to friends, fellow church members, and others who were in need – including a Zimbabwean family applying for asylum and an Iranian man in the country illegally.

This hospitality was an outgrowth of Shady’s faith in Jesus, which grew even stronger in her fifties. She became deeply devoted to Scripture and prayer – especially interceding for loved ones who had wandered from the faith. In her last years, she continued to enjoy listening to hymns, often singing along.

Shady is survived by her children Lindele Elliott, Coty Pinckney, and Laura Kasko, as well as those twelve grandchildren and fifteen great grandchildren.

A memorial service will take place Saturday November 1 at 3:30pm at Emmanuel Baptist Church, 3801 Buckman Rd, Alexandria, VA 22309.

Donations In lieu of flowers can be given to Desiring God Community Church.